Open up to other people (self disclosure) are like currency, has two sides. On one side is entering a more mature relationship. On the other hand, there is the risk of ridicule and betrayed. However, self-disclosure is a signal the development of healthy relationships that need to be managed.
Sometimes we are amazed by someone who is very open to tell you what he thinks, feels, and wants. Despite many difficulties or deficiencies, life as perceived as being lighter, and without the burden.
We can become more comfortable interacting with a person like that. Because he was open, we can become more open, and ultimately lasted more intimate relationship and mutual trust.
However, on other occasions sometimes happens otherwise. We should feel disgusted with someone who is so open to things that are very personal, which we think is not appropriate to tell our people.
Call it name Mr. X, to my friends outside the office he told how the habits that occurred in his office: that the project in his department was only 20 percent of the operational, and the other 80 percent divided between the chairman and certain employees, including himself. He told me it was not based on a concern because he himself pleased with the part.
At other times, Mr. X reported that he was a meeting with a boss for the same go to a psychic practices for a particular purpose. Not for matters other diseases or disorders, but for launching a goal he did not tell. The story is in the neighborhood of people who live with the ethical management culture rather than sympathetic, even generate ridicule.
This also occurs in the first friendly conversation between a taxi driver (male) with a female passenger. At the end of the conversation, the passenger who had been glad to hear the stories of everyday taxi driver finally felt humiliated because he was later flooded with success stories of women going out with some taxi passengers.
In addition to positive and negative conditions as described above, there are other conditions that we can make reference to determine when and how should we open up.
In a company, Lisa (not her real name) almost had laid off after almost a year to work. The reason, not because he did not have the ability or the deviation, but because of family problems that interfere, so that its performance as an assistant manager was declined.
During Lisa’s problem goes very nervous, but did not dare tell the boss that was not worth discussing personal issues with the office. Long story short, when he reprimanded the boss, he finally ventured to talk, and eventually changed his superior attribution.
The manager came back to put confidence in the ability of Lisa, and he himself continued to provide support in overcoming the problem Lisa. Lisa finally able to work more quietly because understood the situation. With superior, though still formal, well developed personal relationships that provide a sense of comfort.
Behind the stories above in passing we may find that self-disclosure is required, particularly in relation to long-term relationships (friendships, marriage, employment, etc.), and that there needs to be specific rules for self-disclosure that is constructive.
De Janasz, Dowd, and Schneider (2002) in his book Interpersonal Skills in Organizations provides information on how to open up, benefits, and the things that hinder.
Things Revealed
There are signs in the expression of that relationship to be effective:
* More feelings than facts. When we express the feeling of others, then we allow others to recognize who we really are. For example, information on how we develop relationships with our brothers and sisters to make other people understand us, rather than simply providing information that we have a brother.
* The expanded and deepened. Maybe we are still experiencing discomfort share experiences with someone who should be close to us. It needs to be done to develop a relationship to a more in (more to express her feelings toward a particular issue) and extended (to discuss various issues, such as work, family, religious experience, and so on).
* Focus on the present, not the past. When sharing experiences about the past we used to explain why a particular act is of catharsis (release of tension), but can be left feeling that we are weak. This happens especially if the disclosure does not take reciprocal. So, we better focus on the present situation.
* Lead back. We must always match the level of our openness with openness of the people we meet. Be careful, do not open up early, before you get through the development of a familiar relationship and mutual trust. On the other hand, if necessary, do not need to wait for people to open up. Do not be afraid to launch an important step to build relationships. Give examples, and others will adapt. If people do not respond in a balanced way, stop these steps.
Many Benefits
Self-disclosure has the benefit for each individual and for the relationship between the two parties. By opening up and returned self-disclosure to others, we can improve communication and relationships with others.
In detail, the benefits are:
* Lighten. Share with others about themselves or the problems that we face, can provide psychological conditions ease. For example, a story about the exam or the inability to end a relationship with someone. How do we overcome this? How to view others? By opening up, we gain additional perspective to help themselves to see the point of frustration from the viewpoint of others.
* Helping the validation (testing accuracy) perception of reality. With his own point of view, we may tend to use the idealistic according to size yourself. When we communicate that with the right person (who provide sympathetic, supportive, trustworthy, and a good listener), we not only get approval, but also information needed to better understand ourselves, what we need to understand the world in a more realistic.
* Reduce tension and stress. When we deal with tension or stress for some reason, if not expressed would develop into an explosive (explosive). Conversely, if disclosed to others, we will find a way out. Had not got a way out, at least more lightly because we are not alone. This can actually make us become closer to other people and add a sense of comfort at that time and in the next relationship.
* Lighten the physical. There is a link between the mind body system. The existence of a positive influence on the mind (due to self-expression), resulting in the physical. Share or express yourself with others, making us less stress, less anxiety, and also relieve heart rate and blood pressure. In other words, self-disclosure can have a positive effect on physical health, but emotional.
* Flow clearer communication. By showing willingness to open up to others, and respect other people expressing themselves, then we increase the ability to understand the point of view or different perspective. Thus, we will be more confident to clarify intentions or meanings of others. Feedback through open discussion, vagueness in communication is minimized.
* Strengthen relationships. If antarekan better know each other, the reciprocal effect occurs: the openness to develop a growing excitement and resulted in increased transparency increasingly strong sense of fun. Without self-expression, the level of closeness and trust relationships are at a low level. Openness generated by the trust, and confidence generated by cooperation. In the organization, cooperation and mutual trust is to determine the most important innovation in order to remain able to survive and compete.
Moreover, the research found that when working more like antarekan cooperation, they are more productive in doing a project or in a team situation.
